1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. My love for you is like diarrhea--I just can't hold it in.

7. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

8. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

9. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

10. You remind me of a championship bass--I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

11. Your parents must be retarded because you are special.

12. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

13. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

14. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open and I'll put my head in.