SAYINGS


Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me... just leave me the Hell alone.

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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

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It's always darkest just before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

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Sex is like air; it's not important unless you're not getting any.

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We are born wet, naked and hungry. Then things get worse.

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No one is listening until you make a mistake.

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Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

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Never test the depth of the water with both feet!

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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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If you think nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

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If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

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Don't squat with your spurs on.

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Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

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The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

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There are two theories on arguing with women. Neither of them work.

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Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

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Never mess up an apology with an excuse.